Before Remarrying
LexInter | May 15, 2022 | 0 Comments

6 Things To Consider Before Remarrying

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It’s one of the rites of passage signifying the start of a family and long-lasting obligations. In addition to being physically joined in marriage, you get emotionally and spiritually united with your spouse. However, some unavoidable circumstances may lead to the failure of your first marriage, and you end up divorced. If that’s not the reason, perhaps you may have lost your partner because of death. Whatever the reason may be, you may consider regaining your happiness by remarrying.

Although a second marriage may work out well, it may come with more challenges than the first one, especially where children are involved. According to research in the United States, second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages. Therefore, before saying ‘Yes, I do’ for the second time, you’d want to thoroughly think through your decision.

Some Key Considerations Before Remarrying

1. Estate Planning

What Is Estate Planning

If you have children from your first marriage, it’s critical to know how to go about estate planning for second marriages. A well-detailed estate plan can prevent family disputes when you or your spouse pass away. This is because it ensures every child receives what is rightful for them. Additionally, estate planning enables you to:

  • Provide for your kids even when you’re no longer with them physically
  • Allocate property in good time
  • Make future plans for your children
  • Make arrangements for incapacity among your kids
  • Determine appropriate trustees for your estate

When creating your estate plan, it’s paramount to ensure it’s pretty fair to all the parties concerned. Try to involve your partner in the process so that they can chip in with worthwhile ideas. Also, you can speak to an attorney to guide you on what to add to your plan. This enables you to develop a meaningful estate plan that satisfies all interested parties.

2. The Reasons Behind The Failure Of Your First Union

You may need to think deeply about your first marriage and why it failed in the first place. Usually, it’s essential to examine and figure out why it didn’t succeed as you had initially hoped. Do this by critically analyzing the relationship and the elements in your behavior or that of your spouse that may have led to the divorce.

Additionally, see how you can change your behavior to avoid a recurrence of the same issues you had in the first marriage. This enables you to know yourself more and correct any unpleasant character. Also, you’ll be able to become a better companion in your second marriage, irrespective of whose mistake it was.

3. Your Willingness to Commitment

There must be a valid reason why your first marriage was unsuccessful. This failure can make you doubtful and nervous about subsequent relationships. You may still have bitterness, jealousy, anger, or feelings of infidelity towards your previous partner, which you may bring to your new relationship. This may make it difficult for you to connect peacefully with your current companion.

Furthermore, going through a failed marriage and finally getting divorced may change you significantly. You’ll have a different perspective and view of relationships. In this sense, you may not endure similar misunderstandings in your new marriage since you may be afraid that the outcome will likewise be a divorce.

Also, remember that you may still harbor intimate feelings of attachment to your former partner. This can make it hard for you to commit fully to your current relationship. Also, it can result in your new spouse feeling bitter or jealous about your association with your ex-partner. Therefore, for your second marriage to succeed, you must bury the past and be ready and willing to commit to your new relationship.

4. Your Children’s Welfare

Children’s Welfare

Having kids may make second marriages more complex. Usually, children are the most affected by marriage failures and remarrying can bring back memories of unresolved pain and anger. For instance, on learning that their dad or mom is remarrying, children have to give up any hope that their parents will reunite. They’ll surely start mourning the loss of their initial family unit. Additionally, second marriages affect your children in the following ways:

  • They may have to adapt to living with a new stepparent and stepsiblings after developing a solid relationship with either of their parents during single parenthood. Also, they’ll have to adapt to the changes in household routines and chores.
  • They may be uncomfortable having two mothers or fathers.
  • Your children may compare their new family with the previous one and sometimes feel unloved. They may utter words like, ‘You don’t love us like our mother or father.’
  • They may be jealous when they notice you’re paying attention to your new spouse and children.
  • Also, your children may fail to love and respect your new partner for fear of betraying your former spouse.

Thus, you’d want to handle your children wisely and have realistic expectations regarding their relationship with your new spouse. Consider how you’ll inform them about your next move in life. Make it clear to them that your new partner is not a substitute for their original mom or dad. Also, give them ample time to grieve for the dissolution of their former family.

5. Potential Challenges In The Second Marriages

Tying the knot again comes with various challenges, some of which may not have been in your first marriage. These problems include:

  • Financial issues
  • Persistent feelings towards your former spouse
  • Shared children
  • Different parenting styles
  • Change in roles and routines
  • Challenge of commitment
  • Difficulties in learning from your past mistakes

Therefore, before you remarry, you’d want to look into possible ways of overcoming such challenges. This prepares you well and eliminates the fears of starting another union. Also, it gives you hope and determination that your second marriage is going to last longer.

6. Healing Time

After losing your loved one or divorcing them, you’d want to give yourself time to grieve and heal. It’s usually challenging to accept the death of a dear one and move on with life. This may prompt you to make impulsive decisions based on your heart and not your mind, in a bid to quickly fill the gap left by your partner.


Getting into a second marriage during the healing period can be emotionally catastrophic to you and your new spouse. Therefore, it’d be wise to take things slowly and undergo the healing period to enable you to rediscover yourself and evaluate your readiness for a second marriage.


Remarrying is a wise decision. It’s kind of a second chance to handle your relationship rightly and achieve your couple’s goals. But it comes with a wide range of challenges. Consider the aspects shared above before walking into a second marriage. The right approach will ensure you have a lifetime of happiness with your new spouse, a good relationship with your kids, and correct property management from your first marriage.

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